"I'm Really Going to Miss Her!"

This thought has been coming to my mind as I have realized the friendship that is forming with my neighbor Mama S and I. She is the same neighbor that had the baby when we first moved here, she and her husband were the ones we invited to Christmas, Thailie and Nia play at their house almost everyday —most of the time multiple times a day. She helps salvage all the cooking mishaps I have, lends a hand with sweeping, borrows tomatoes, water and oil when she needs it.
Just yesterday I was caring for our teammate's two girls while Mat took their parents to the hospital in Kondoa. Overwhelmed with the chaos, I went to track Nia down. She had gone outside wearing only a shirt and her undies - I knew where to find her though. I grabbed her boots and a skirt and headed to Mama S's. There Nia was, sitting on a stool, drinking uji with Mama S and Baby S. "Karibu Mama Nia! Karibu nyumbani!" She stops what she is doing and rushes to grab four stools. Looking behind me, I see Thailie, Abigale and Sara had followed me in. She fed all four uji and warmly welcomed us to stay and sit for awhile. I sat and finished my morning coffee thinking how nice it was to just sit with a friend while Mat was gone and things were getting crazy at the house.

Thailie and Nia chatting with Mama S waiting for chai to cook.

We speak different languages, come from totally different cultures, world views, and religions, yet I couldn't help but think, "I'm really going to miss her." There is going to come a day, most likely after our two years with TIMO is up, that we will pack our bags and, apart from physically visiting Busi, we will never see or talk to them again. It was sobering.
That was just yesterday. Today, one of our regular boys, Salamani came in to get treated for a gash on his ankle. (We've been doing minor bandaging/fist aid so they come here when someone is bleeding.) As I cleaned the wound he told me Mama S left for Sambwa. Her family lives in the next village and she visits them from time to time; even this past Munaadi I tagged along with her and saw her brother-in-law's shop, sat with her sister-in-law and met a few brothers. But Salamani's countenance made me wonder if there was more to the story. I asked about her husband Baba S, he said he was at home - again normal, but something didn't seem right. I asked when she would be back. He said tomorrow, his brother said today. Then Salamani just looked at the ground. "Something's up" I thought.
Later that day I walked to get tomatoes and onions from the market and saw Baba S outside a shop with some other men playing a local game —similar to mancala, but more complex. He greeted us, I didn't think anything was amiss. We went about our day as usual, I didn't think much about Mama S, knowing she wouldn't be stopping by today. As the day progressed we had our typical kids in the window, an occasional egg seller, and a neighbor or two stopping by to see how we are doing. The last of our visitors was Bibi A. (The other couple we invited to our Christmas event) she stopped by and brought us a gift —of goat liver. Gifts exchange back and forth here regularly. It is a way to keep up relationships and have reasons to visit friends. She stayed awhile. Finally, just before she left she told me Mama S wanted to make sure I knew that she went to Sambwa. I was trying to understand through a great language barrier the rest of what she was saying. Finally as she spoke again she made "face-slapping" motions. I asked if Mama S was coming back, her reply was simply, "sijui" —she didn't know.
I understood now and my heart was saddened greatly. We were told that in Africa it is very common and almost a give-in that wives are beat. We had heard this from many outside and western sources but never saw any direct evidences of it. Baba S and Mama S were two of the happiest people we knew, and not just in Busi. They were always friendly, welcoming and hardly without a smile. It is hard to picture the two of them fighting, let alone having a fight heated enough to cause abuse.
About four or five months ago Babu A's daughter-in-law took her two kids and "left for Sambwa" —she hasn't been back since.

These are the smiles we remember and hope to see again.

Please pray with us. Pray for our wisdom, their reconciliation, and ultimately salvation.